Lost My Mojo?

Lately I have had absolutely no motivation to write in my blog, correction…..I guess its more that I haven’t felt or been inspired with anything I think to be blog worthy. This is the first time I have experienced what I guess you would call “writer’s block” when it comes to this blog. Normally I’m never ever lacking some cynical sarcastic observation, or some meaningless ramble about life in general, Have I lost my blogging mojo so soon? Probably not, I chalk it up to having my brain full of business plans, moving plans, and all the other things in my life making my brain hurt.

So over the next while posts may be scarce and probably somewhat dull so bare will us, qualified technicians are working hard to restore your regularly scheduled programing.

Be Good

Yarrrggggggg……

Ohhhhh so much on my plate right now. Life seems to have gone from debilitating tedium to overwhelmingly busy in less than a month and with no sign of letting up. Work sucks (as usual) I’m being handed more and more responsibility, but yet no more pay, funny how that’s the way it always seems to work out. On top of work sucking ass, I’m in the early stages of developing two business opportunities. One with a partner and another something that I’ve had rattling around in my melon for years now and finally decided to do something about it. Not sure if either will come to fruition, only time and lots work will tell.

Something else causing the ole plateth to overfloweth is planning and coordinating our move to get the hell out of this redneck, ultra conservative, hummer driving, bleached blond, fake boobed, coke snorting, real estate obsessed, ultimate fighting watching, shit hole we made the mistake of calling home over the past year. That’s right boys and girls we are heading back to the coast. Halllua fucking luuuya!!!

Be Good

Are You an Up Hiller or Down Hiller??

While flying down to Indianapolis last week for a trade show I had a bit of an epiphany. Seated in the window seat, playing name that smell and listening to Hospital Music on the ole I Pod, I gazed out at the patch work that is the bread basket of America. Way off on the horizon I could see that you could just barely make out the curvature of the earth. Now I’ve seen this before the what seems like the kigillion times I’ve flown but this time something sparked in my brain.

I started thinking about how you…me…the guy next to you… even the bum out diving for empties in your dumpster is, no matter what, always on the apex of a “hill”. A very gradual, unnoticeable but enormous hill not unlike walking on one big giant beach ball covered in mud and stupid people shooting at each other. Then I thought are you actually on the apex? or are you moving down hill or up hill? If you are moving it has to be either right? After downing my $6.00 beer my thoughts then traversed into about how some people approach their lives in general. Some approach there lives as though they are always walking up that hill and can never reach the top. Everything to them is a struggle, everything is hard, they can never seem to reach that apex. Conversely you have those who approach their lives like they are always going down hill. Fast, exciting, easy. You also have those who I guess you would consider the balanced ones who approach life both ways. Sometimes its easy, sometimes its hard. I like to think I’m a balanced one, but for me life is all about laughing, having fun, loving, being loved and making this big giant beach ball we live on a better place.

Be Good

Is Canada it’s Own Country??

Hmmm how existential……This was a question presented to me in a smoky little bar in Indianapolis, Indiana while attending a trade show last week. Wanting to give the young lady who presented this question the benefit of the doubt, I thought perhaps the cause of her apparent ignorance to the social political structure of our fine country was due to the fact that she appeared to be on her tenth Red bull and Vodka and continually had to wipe the drool from her cheek as she vainly attempted to focus on my face. Now although her question at first irritated me it also piqued my curiosity. I was curious to find out if more people where as misinformed about the large country that sat atop the US as she was. So I decided I would go on a little quest to find out.

As with most trade shows you always end up in a bar chatting up the locals and attendees, so I made an attempt to cover the full spectrum from college students up to the attending business people and to my surprise there are a lot of folks in the US from all walks of life that don’t have a clue about the Great White North. I got a full range of questions ranging from, “does Canada have its own money?” Isn’t Canada part of England”, to “are you Irish” That one might have had to do with the amount of drink I’d consumed but not sure. Either way it was amusing and slightly disturbing to think that the country we share the continent with is so uniformed about us up here in Canada. Perhaps I’ll open up education centers all across America to fill them all in about us crazy Canucks. And for all you out there wondering….

YES CANADA IS ITS OWN FUCKING COUNTRY!

Be Good

Thanks Northwest

I just wanted to thank Northwest Airlines for sitting me beside the biggest, nastiest, fattest, man hating lesbian I have ever had the misfortune to place my eyes on. I know, I know that’s not politically correct but when you are afraid to go to sleep because she might begin the gnaw on your arm for a snack or even worse try and absorb you with her evil massiveness be means of phagocytosis I have to say it like I see it.

Maybe she was a nice person after all and she was having a bad day. Maybe the last unsuspecting guy who got stuck sitting next to her left a bad taste in her mouth after she killed and ate him. Maybe she was self conscious about the insect like whiskers she had growing out of all three of her chins. Maybe it was the foul odor she was emitting, who knows, but all I can say was I was afraid. Afraid for my life and soul. My only saving grace was the friendly attractive girl sitting on the other side. She was pretty, young and her perfume became my force field that would save me from the evilness to my right. I felt like I was sitting between good and evil, light and dark, Kate Hudson and Britney Spears.

Thanks again Northwest

Be Good